


Paved With Good Intentions

by labeautelivresque



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Leroux based, POV Second Person, References to suicide attempts, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 04:10:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17615207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labeautelivresque/pseuds/labeautelivresque
Summary: You will comfort yourself with the thought that you did not intend any of it. It will come as little comfort. You have dismantled her, mind & body & soul. You have made her as mad as yourself.





	Paved With Good Intentions

**Author's Note:**

> Written on Tumblr with the prompt: "Erik spots Christine for the first time." I didn't follow the prompt exactly, and it became this. You can like/reblog [here](http://showmeahero.tumblr.com/post/179537986469/symbol-erik-spots-christine-for-the-first-time). 
> 
> As always, a comment/kudos is much appreciated! Thanks!

**YOU NEVER INTENDED TO DECEIVE HER.**  many months from now, this is the truth that you will repeat to yourself in the dead of night, when all seems lost  **&  **the bright-eyed girl you knew has been  _killed_ by your own hand. you did not mean it, you will think, as if that thought alone can repair the damage you’ve wrought. 

          you will think of this night: yourself, a nameless voice behind her dressing-room mirror. christine, peering at you unknowingly with  _crystalline_  eyes that seem to shimmer in the candlelight, her brush cascading through soft blonde curls. the first time you spoke to her, you had meant only to be a comfort. they are cruel to her, the little ballet rats. she does not fit in here, this gentle country girl from uppsala. you had wanted only to make her  _ **laugh**_ , because you saw your own poignant loneliness reflected in her face. in another world, perhaps, in another  _ **lifetime**_ , she might have been made for you. you might have courted her as any man, taken her for walks in the park, sat reading with her by the fire. 

          instead, you are reduced to this.

          she is the one who seeks you out tonight. “hello?” she sounds uncertain, as if doubting that the last time had truly happened. will the voice answer her tonight? “are you there?”

          “yes, child,” you answer  **&  **your heartbeat speeds up at the sight of the pure exultation in her countenance. nobody has ever seemed so glad to see you.  _ **(**  _you know if she could  **TRULY** see you, she would flee in terror  _ **)**_.  


          her next question catches you off guard. “oh, please… my poor papa, before he died, promised me that he would send the angel of music to me. that was so long ago, i had nearly given up hope.  **&  **then i heard you here, last night. pray, tell me, are you the angel?”

          this, although you do not know it, is to be the beginning of the end.  **you never intended this**. you knew nothing of daddy daaé’s promise to his only beloved child upon his deathbed. you had meant only to comfort her, to be a friend. you have been many things in your long, sorry life. an angel has never been one of them. in a perfect world, you would tell her the truth. you would open the passageway behind the mirror, show her the face of the voice  **&  **let the child make her own choice. in a perfect world, she would forgive your short-lived deception  **&  **maybe, just maybe, she would grow to care for you, grotesque as you are.

          but this is not a perfect world. this is not a child’s fairy tale. in this story, the beauty does not kiss the beast  **&  **turn him into a man. in this world, you answer: “yes, i am the angel of music. your father has sent me to you, child,  **&  **together, we shall astound paris!” in this world, you  _lie **&  **lie  **&  **lie_ until you can do no more. in this world, you take her trust  **&  **turn it to ashes, as you have always ruined the lives around you.

          months from now, when this sweet child, left alone to make an impossible choice, tries to destroy herself, you will remember  _this_ night. as you weep  **&  **bandage her forehead, you will comfort yourself with the thought that you did not intend any of it.  **it will come as little comfort.**  you have dismantled her, mind  **&  **body  **&  **soul. you have made her as mad as yourself. 

you will remember singing with her tonight. you will remember her ringing laughter when you crack a joke, the way she animatedly tells you stories of her youth in sweden.  ** _(_** you hang on her every word. you have been so long without conversation, you feel as though you might die if you lose this  ** _)_**. you will remember how you grew to love this sweet girl, with her angel’s voice  **&  **gentle demeanor.  _ **you will remember how she loved you, too, before you dragged her to hell.**_


End file.
